Aloha (It Sucks!)

Before the film’s realease, Aloha already showed a major problem in terms of casting choices; however, casting Emma Stone as Allison Ng is part of the 99 problems this film has.

The plot is a poorly planned ocean of cliches of other ideas Crowe have used in the past. Nothing could save this train wreck. I must point out that John Krasinki’s character as the voiceless husband was probably the easiest job he’s ever done. He probably had two sentences and awkward looks towards Bradley Cooper during the film. 

Meanwhile, the story lacks substance because it was predictable. Stone’s character started as a robotic-straight arrow captain and her purpose was to be Cooper’s watchdog. Then, like most cliches she falls for him or (in a sarcastic tone) she saves him. Oh, the pain of the lack of imagination!

On the other side of this film, Crowe brings Rachel McAdams character with an unnecessary secret she’s held in the past 12 years. She  finally told her former boyfriend that he has a daughter (oh, my! no one saw that one coming…I’m rolling my eyes). Then Crowe has the talented comedian, Danny McBride as a lame colonel moving his fingers nervously. 

(Probably the only interesting scene was Alec Baldwin blasting through the doors and screaming his lungs out. Because his screams woke me up.) Another odd character was Bill Murray as the eccentric and sucky villain in Aloha which makes “Dr. Evil” portrayed by Mike Meyers an absolute menace.

Although critics blasted Elizabethtown in the past, at least that film made sense in comparison to Aloha. It’s a pity the actresses and actors are great, yet in this film no one shined. The only thing this film was missing was Emma Stone leaving the country and Bradley Cooper chasing her at the airport. Finalizing the film with the expected speech and saying I love you.

Overall, Aloha is just a bad film. Save yourself and save your money.

100 Lessons from…30 Rock

Although 30 Rock ended a while back, there are plenty of fans (this list I include myself here) loves this series. Here’s another article dedicated to hilarious lessons from the award winning comedy, 30 Rock.

  1. Snart (sneezing and farting at the same time) only happens at 10am
  2. Never eat food that belongs to Liz (or anyone as passionate about food like Lemon)
  3. Acting is about consistency, so it’s best not to fart
  4. If you think you speak French, it’s because you’re living in a bubble of handsomeness
  5. Everyone will be a badger one point in their lives
  6. Sun Tea helps the planet

    Photo: 30 Rock NBC.COM

  7. Only former Vice President, Al Gore can recycle jokes
  8. An embarrassing 90s commercial may cheer up your friend
  9. Must wear an EGOT necklace
  10. It’s classy to wear socks with sandals
  11. Running through the streets only wearing your underwear and screaming, ” I am a Jedi!” Is a legit thing to do 
  12. Pretending to be Elmo to encourage your son/daughter to pee is acceptable
  13. There’s always a son or a daughter that will be creepy
  14. Trucker hats with phrases is a Frank trademark
  15. Pretending to be Princess Leah to avoid jury duty only works in Chicago, but not in NYC
  16. Arm crunches once a year is enough exercise
  17. A wedding gown is also a fancy toilet paper if you’re surviving a hurricane
  18. IKEA can test the durability of a relationship
  19. ‘Lemoned’ is another way to say ‘screwed’

    Photo: 30 Rock NBC.COM

  20. Blurg and nerds are part of society
  21. Shooting an arrow may help a friend in need (not in real life though!)
  22. When an ‘Actor Announcement’ occurs, you’re expected to listen
  23. Kelsey Grammer is an excellent con-man
  24. If a blue blob with eyes waves at you: you may need food or your medications
  25. Conan O’Brien is a resentful ex-boyfriend
  26. If there’s a financial crisis, find the nearest VCR to play Don Geiss 1987 tape ASAP
  27. If Kathy Geiss sings, beware she may take off her underwear at the end of the song

    Photo: 30 Rock NBC.COM

  28. Valentine’s Day is also the worse day ever
  29. Everyone needs a mentor
  30. Cleveland is the most polite city in America
  31. Rules are necessary
  32. A dirty gym bag may attract bats
  33. Loosing your virginity to a British person may result a British accent shortly afterwards
  34. Yes, there’s another Wesley Snipes and he’s not an actor
  35. Carol Burnett is also the name of a handsome pilot
  36.  GE may not like all of the jokes
  37. When things are bad in the White House is when you write memos with ketchup, dirty rock or leak water
  38. Reaganing means when an individual is capable to resolve all of his or her issues and achieve his or her goals without failure (in a 24-48 hour period)
  39. Jelly beans are useful for stressful moments or doing a voiceover
  40. There’s only one director and his name is Shawn
  41. Writing the Lord’s name in a voting ballot counts as a Republican vote (according to Jack)
  42. One must sing, ‘Night Cheese’ while wearing a snuggie
  43. Staples can be a sexy place
  44. Ann Curry is the most specific journalist in history
  45. Dr. Leo Spaceman will administer your flu shot if you dance for him
  46. The Meat Machine is only available in Russia
  47. Not all class reunions are pleasant
  48. Don’t be surprised if your current boyfriend may look like a villain from a Telemundo telenovela
  49. Some nurses are hot
  50. Out of loneliness, anyone may become a Generalissimo
  51. Oprah is also a religion
  52. Weinerslav is pronounced Wiener-Slave
  53. Beware of fight clubs
  54. It’s not ok to name a cat, ‘Emily Dickson’

    Photo: 30 Rock NBC.COM

  55. Giving someone ‘the business’ and it means ‘your front’ – it’s probably your worst quadrant
  56. Once in your lifetime, you may wear triple spanx and wear slutty makeup
  57. Never go to Kenneth’s parties because they suck
  58. Only Cerie has four cousins from Holland
  59. The best answer is…you’re not my dad!
  60. Lizzing happens once in a while
  61. Don’t doubt Lutz, his nephew is hot
  62. It’s okay to fall in love with a Jenna/ Cher impersonator
  63. Business drunk is the same as rich drunk which also means it’s legal to drive
  64. Every time one meets someone new, try to figure out how to fight them
  65. Princeton men cannot have bedbugs
  66. MILF Island is an addictive show
  67. The most important words in the American judicial system is…’My client has no memory of that’
  68. Never take advice from a woman that tapes her bra together
  69. Something’s are a blessing and a purse
  70. It’s okay to scold pigeons because they need self respect
  71. If your husband wakes up on the neighbors roof – that’s normal
  72. There’s is a nucular scientist in a James Bonk Movie
  73.  Wearing a penis hat for a funeral may symbolize something special
  74. Make sure your entourage has a Sasha, a Michael, and a Gay Michael
  75. Someone may have a weird sex tape filmed in night vision
  76. The Hornberger system always prevail
  77. There are two types of lipstick: Sunset Blush and Tiger Orgasm
  78. Getting booked on The View means you’re the least crazy one
  79. Describing someone’s beauty also means fading, 80s, and 1880s
  80. The best medicine is medicine
  81.  Richard F. Esposito should trim everybody’s hair
  82. Harvard men would never say they’re cool (cough, cough) correction that they quit

    Photo: 30 Rock NBC.COM

  83.  Marry, boff, kills always gets weird
  84. Bitch Hunters was cancelled
  85. Wesleyan is not the Harvard of Connecticut
  86. Don’t disgrace the peacock
  87. Some can’t walk and talk at the same time
  88. Giuliani had a doll collection back in the 80s
  89. Kenneth is the safest place in 30 Rock
  90. The ingredients for a Frank-Schlong  cocktail are cherry juice, buttermilk, and tequila
  91. Get a prescription for your donkey spell
  92. The mayor of Stone Mountain is a horse
  93. Before announcing bad news, make them watch baby panda sneezing clip

    Photo: 30 Rock NBC.COM

  94. Dot Com is the smartest guy ever
  95. Sandwich day is sacred
  96. ‘It’s Never too Late for Now’ is an awful song
  97. Cheesy Blasters is served at the Asian fusion restaurant, Season 4
  98. Is appropriate to wear a Princess Leah dress for your wedding day
  99. ‘Muffin Top’ is a banned song
  100. Mazel Tov, Dummies!

*Happy birthday, Mom!

All Rights Reserved. DISCLAIMER: alsy365 blog claims no credit for any images or videos featured on this site unless otherwise noted. All visual content is copyrighted to its respective owners. alsy365 blog Information on this site may contain errors or inaccuracies. If you own rights to any of the content and wish to have it removed please let me know.

Sexy Baby: The Arena of Sexualization in the Digital Age

Porn has existed since the ancient times; however, the current generation is bombarded with pornographic themes everywhere. In films, posters, and commercials is a small description how far have sexual images reached in our fingertips. The documentary Sexy Baby follows three women that have nothing in common, but the common denominator is the pornographic influence in their lives. The main characters are Winifred (12), Nichole (32), and Laura (22) are discovering the distant aspects of reality and their sexuality. 

Winifred is the youngest of the trio. She’s a wealthy girl and her parents are divorced, but they have an excellent relationship. Winifred is intelligent and wise for her age because at the beginning of the documentary, she’s in gymnastics and she’s an actress for a sociological play that focuses on pop culture and the over-sexualization in the media. Although she’s bold and perceptive, she wraps herself in the pressure, influence, and the discovery of her teenage years through social media. Although she’s well aware of the poor portrayal of women and pornography; Winifred explores through imitation by posting pictures showing her bare back, the side of her bra and distancing herself from her parents. Then, out of the blue, she quits gymnastics claiming she didn’t like it. In my view, I think it was too much to handle between school, the theater, and gymnastics- I think, I would have dropped one class too.

Another force that pulls Winifred is her friend Olivia. Both sharing their curiosities, Winifred follows Olivia unintentionally like a small clique duo. Meanwhile, Winifred parents struggle with a watchful eye their daughters behaviors. Winifred being the oldest also influences her younger sisters without knowing it. Some might criticize her parents for allowing her to watch and listen to Lady Gaga; however, it’s difficult to hide city children in a digital era from popular singers that embrace their sexuality through their music and style.   
Now, Laura is ten years older than Winifred and lives in Texas. The teacher assistant is unhappy and tormented. Although she’s a beautiful and a healthy young woman, she believes her labia is uneven. After her ex-boyfriend compared her body with a porn star – the 22 year-old insecurities consummated her with one goal in mind…a labia reduction is the cure. Laura thinks the body of a porn star is what attracts men. 

In order to reach her goal, Laura takes a second job to pay her surgery. Finally, it’s the day of her surgery and her mother supports her decision, yet it makes her mother sad to know the reason behind the surgery. Although the final result makes Laura happy- in reality, her decision is not to satisfy herself, but for her future boyfriend. What would happen if her next boyfriend says she needs bigger breasts like Porn stars…will she get breast implants?

Lastly, Nichole aka Nakita Kash is a former porn star. The 32 year-old is famous in the adult industry and became known in mainstream television through the show, America’s Got Talent. Currently, Nichole teaches the art of pole dancing and she’s starting a new chapter of her life…marriage. Nichole is not shy about her past and knows the effects of porn both the good and the bad of the industry. The career may bring quick wealth, still Nichole firmly states making love and pornographic sex are opposite realities. Making love is mutual and a beautiful feeling between a couple that evokes happiness. Meanwhile, porn sex is with a stranger and its artificial.

Nichole does not literally say this message,yet it is clear her definition of pornography in society. She cautions the audience about it and teenagers shouldn’t watch it while they are 12 or 13. It may disfigure the reality of women, image and sex. 

Overall, pornography has merged into everyday language, image, and culture. The staggering effect is how younger generations are already influenced by it and imitating it. Sexting is common among teenagers and its viewed as a common thing to do because it’s popular. Even the simple ‘Like’ function in Facebook becomes a pivotal push into a sexualized image because is well received by most people.  

All Rights Reserved. DISCLAIMER: alsy365 blog claims no credit for any images or videos featured on this site unless otherwise noted. All visual content is copyrighted to its respective owners. alsy365 blog Information on this site may contain errors or inaccuracies. If you own rights to any of the content and wish to have it removed please let me know.

I AM CAIT: Jenner’s Rebirth

Cait Jenner made her debut in the cover of Vanity Fair earlier this year. Finally, on July 26th, E! premiered I Am Cait – this is the second groundbreaking series featuring a transgender person (I Am Jazz on TLC) on a major television network.

The first episode of Jenner’s series opens with a serious tone. Cait begins narrating how many people have been murdered and shamed for being transgender. She feels it is her responsibility to help others.

Although the series follows Cait’s journey; the series also focuses on transgender awareness. Cait does point out continuously that honesty is a priority. In addition, the pilot shows that everyone has a different way to accept Jenner’s decision. For example, Kylie (Cait’s youngest daughter) meets her and it was easy according to Jenner; however, her mother feels that it will take time to let Bruce go.

Certainly, it takes courage to start a new life; nonetheless, Cait wants to help other transgender people of all ages. She states, “we need more tolerance in society.” Indeed, acceptance is key to prevent the staggering suicide rates in the transgender community.

Cait proves that it may have taken her decades to become the woman she always had inside of her; nonetheless, suicide is never the answer because being transgender is not a crime. If you know someone or you are contemplating suicide please seek for help. Visit http://www.thetrevorproject.org or call 1-866-488-7386

Jackie Kennedy -Onassis: The Editor Icon, not the Fashion Icon

*This is a book review of the book Reading Jackie by William Kuhn*

Jackie Kennedy Onassis shouldn’t be remembered as a fashion icon. To be frank, after completing the book by William Kuhn, Reading Jackie -Onassis should be remembered as a fierce editor. Reading Jackie is a remarkable biography that shows a side of Jackie that is largely silenced by popular media. Kuhn provides a backstage look of Jackie’s lifetime before her marriage to JFK until her last days before her death in 1994.

In the book, she goes through difference phases in her life (well, doesn’t everybody?); however, there was always something consistent in her life and it was not fashion. No, fashion was the least important thing she thought about. The consistent factor that defined the final twenty years of her life was editing. Yet, her love for literature shaped her personality open and closed doors.

Ironically, Jackie never intended to gain world wide attention while others like the Kardashian clan exploits it intentionally. In fact, she never gave a damn about fashion or what the media largely focused on her. She was a natural for great style, but books was her real legacy. 
She worked for Viking and Doubleday. She edited nearly 100 books in her career and had dozens of unfinished projects by the time she passed away. Jackie adored challenging projects and found the perks of her fame to persuade well known personalities like Michael Jackson to write his autobiography. Yet, being Kennedy-Onassis didn’t symbolize immediate success as an editor. There were plenty of occasions that some of her works weren’t well received by critics. Even failed projects such as the autobiography by Richard J. Daley never came true.

In the end, Khun wisely penned a book with style, humor, seriousness and a respectful biography of the former First Lady. Above all, Kennedy-Onassis was destined to live an intense life because at an early age, Jackie won a prestigious Vogue award for writing (when Vogue featured stronger journalism) and this recognition marked a future that would unravel after the death of Aristotle. As a widow, Jackie found herself away from the shadow of two well known men. She found her voice through editing. Her editing voice was loud and eternally printed in words.

Immortal: The Postal Service

The other day, one of my co-workers asked me, Do you think the Postal Service will ever disappear? After a brief pause, I said, no. Why? Because of websites like Amazon.com, Justfab.com and other websites that cater delivery services will still need the postal service to support their business. It’s impossible to digitize a purse; however, education, entertainment (films and television shows), bills, literature, and music (the real list is longer than this one) are accessible through the internet. Obviously, huge enterprises like Blockbuster, CD stores among other businesses of such nature have disappeared.

I do fear that public libraries might suffer like the fall of a great empire. Although I greatly enjoy writing my articles in the digital age; I still adore a physical book. The happiness of flipping the pages and continue to read the next chapter. Therefore, I now believe (because one may never know what will happen in the next 20 years from today) the postal service will prevail through the digital age. While pages like Ebay continue to sell overseas or locally ship items, the postal service will be the few places that survives the ups and downs of the economy and the upcoming presidents.

42 Lessons from: Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

Today is the birthday of a good friend of mine and it is also the fifth anniversary of Alsy365! In honor of this awesome day, I wrote a simple, but fun article honoring one of my favorite films, Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown. So, here it is the 42 lessons that Pedro Almodovar’s film provide.

Sony Classic Pictures 

1. Some issues can’t be solved with sleeping pills

2. An ex will never pick up his/her suitcase with his/her junk after a breakup

3. A Jehovah Witness will always speak the truth

4. If you’re a well-known actor/actress, some will hate without a reason (I think that’s a universal phenomenon)

5. Two sofas is still a cool concept

6. Trying to kidnap your ex is an awful idea

7. Gazpacho is great with a day-old bread

8. Virginity is cultural, not physical

Sony Pictures Classics

9. A week -old love-affair can lead to horrible consequences

10. When in doubt, wear red

11. Don’t smoke

12. Ducks won’t jump even if you beg them to do so

13. A Mambo-leopard lover cab driver is once in a lifetime experience

14. Pink underwear and pink tights with pink shoes is a no-no

15. Not all feminist lawyers are nice towards women

16. Carry eye-drops at all times

17. A stutterer can make an anonymous call to the police

18. Listening a song that reminds you of your ex is a bad idea

19. Yanking off a record and throwing it out the window, which ends up hitting a mean person is God’s will (Too bad we live in the digital era)

20. Don’t sell your penthouse if you’re unsure

21. Dreams can predict the future

22. Don’t ignore your voicemail even if your best friend is a persistent caller

23. People can be terrorists even if they are emotional terrorists

24. If an ex doesn’t respond to your calls even you have something crucial to talk to them…the ex will never answer back

25. Never drink a beverage from a strangers house, it might be spiked with sleeping pills

Sony Classic Pictures & @eurios

26. News anchors should drink water on live TV

27. Shoes do not drop from the sky without a legit reason

28. Sitting on a bench at nighttime might bring interesting views (you’re snooping)

29. Men do cry

30. Women can dance oddly while wearing her underwear

31. Unexpectedly, you can meet your ex’s son

32. Some lies can protect others

33. Slapping a mean person can relieve your stress

34. Throwing away your ex’s suitcase is a triumphal moment

35. Never read a strangers note, the author might find out

36. It’s best to say no after two days filled with bad news

  Sony Classic Pictures & @The_RedList

37. Walking the streets of Madrid at night is both good and bad

38. At all times, a mask can help

39. Never leave an unattended cigar, it will burn your mattress

40. Don’t lie about your sanity

41. Phone booths did exist and they were not great places to hide (It’s kind of nostalgic)

42. In 48 hours, everything can change

All Rights Reserved. DISCLAIMER: alsy365 blog claims no credit for any images or videos featured on this site unless otherwise noted. All visual content is copyrighted to its respective owners. alsy365 blog Information on this site may contain errors or inaccuracies. If you own rights to any of the content and wish to have it removed please let me know.